Managing RSVPs serves one dated objective: having a reliable number on the day your caterer asks for it. Counting backwards from that date, it is four steps.
Step 1 — send with enough runway
Six to eight weeks before the wedding, or around three months if guests are travelling and need to book.
Step 2 — choose your reply date
«Kindly reply by 15 September» outperforms «please let us know». Convention puts that date three to four weeks before the wedding, or four to six for a destination wedding. It stays your decision: you write it on the invitation, and nothing here imposes or pre-fills it.
Step 3 — one collective reminder
Filter everyone who has not replied and send a single nudge. Most have not declined; they have forgotten.
Step 4 — resolve the maybes
Go back to anyone tentative before your caterer’s cut-off. They do not occupy a seat, but they change your table count.
Two things that finish themselves
Because guests write their dietary requirements and their message in the same reply, the caterer’s list and your guest book are done without extra work.
The other guides: Invitation wording · Making a seating chart
Frequently asked questions
When should I chase non-responders?
A week after the invitation goes out, one collective reminder is enough. Two weeks before the day, go back to anyone still tentative.
Do I send each guest their own link?
No need. The same link works for everyone and each guest identifies themselves when replying.
Can I change the number after telling the caterer?
That depends on their terms. Ask early what their cut-off for adjusting the headcount is.